Rewind - retranslated
Dear Party Weirdo,
I don’t quite know what to say to this. It’s a compliment I can’t possibly pay back, except maybe by offering you not a correction, but an humble reinterpretation of your post:
He didn’t fall in love.
It had been amply demonstrated to him that he was no longer able to abandon himself into that happy nonchalance. He had known, for some time now that his first contacts with women provoked in him automatic reactions which he couldn’t control. In other words, he simply and slightly exaggerated the consideration he felt for them for having noticed him. When that nebulous moment came, where neither him nor she knew exactly if they were speaking seriously or just joking, he would convince himself that, since it was a joke, it couldn’t possibly be more than a nervous reaction to hide the fire, the real one this time, that must consume both of them. He then felt, almost like an obligation, that he had to fall in love with the girl, as if he owed her that much.
He took this game so seriously that he ended up always playing around the really serious situations. He was forever unable to think of passion with getting rash, frozen, as if in a single violent moment he was suddenly aware of everything he had turned his back on to and that by understanding it he could no longer go back and be unaware.
Thank you again.
My translation was a “first shot” at trying to translate a text that so perfectly fits my state of mind in the present and near past. I felt immediately from the beginning that it wasn’t a perfect one and I could do much better with time. Now I do not have to … thanks for considering it “Brilliant”